Bad Eye, No Prep

Time for an actual update of myself. Let’s start with NaNoWriMo, shall we?

I had the month all planned out. Got my bullet journal ready and for the first few days I was totally meeting my goals. I was feeling optimistic, driven, and then of course I had to jab myself in the eye and got my cornea scratched…yeah…did anyone ever tell you that if you get your cornea scratched it takes like, 2-6 months to completely heal? Yep, so guess who spent the majority of this month unable to see without hurting her eyes on a semi-regular basis? It doesn’t help that right now LA is 100 degrees and dry as hell. I had to go buy a gel eye drop just so I don’t wake up with crazy gunk scratching up my eyes again the morning. Broke out the trusty old humidifier, too. On top of that I got a date for my fibroid surgery set (had a talk with my gyno and decided to remove the damn thing after all), and then I spent the days where I could see calling and setting up pre-op/post-op/other necessary medic appointments. I’m supposed to receive a packet in the mail detailing everything involving this surgery. It’ll probably be here today or tomorrow.

Needless to say I got like zero actual planning done after the first week of the month. It sucks. I don’t feel comfortable jumping into this novel without some extensive planning (don’t even have some basic structures down, like how the military’s supposed to work and where are all the different principalities supposed to be connected), so I guess I won’t be writing this novel for NaNo after all. At least, not right away. Instead I’ll be trying to finish some of my ridiculously overdue fanfics. Yep, I’ve had fics that’re two years old, 80% written, and never finished. Also sucks. I feel like all I’m doing is running behind and that’s a sad state of affairs. Granted, it’s health issues and not avoidable, per se, but still annoying. So the first half of NaNo (maybe longer, depends on how satisfied i am with the outline for the second novel) will be fanfic and finishing first novel. Not what I originally planned at all, but sometimes you gotta just make adjustments, no?

On a smaller, happier, quite unrelated note, I learned that there’s going to be a mobile f2p Animal Crossing game coming called Pocket Camp. I’m so happy about that! I’ve waited for a new Animal Crossing since forever, and unlike a lot of “hardcore gamers” I don’t have an aversion to mobile games as a concept at all. I don’t mind microtransactions because I never get sucked into the skinner box and gambling aspects, so I actually enjoy the freemium model very much. The Animal Crossing game is on soft launch right now and will be available just when I go into surgery, I believe. Hopefully I’ll be well enough to play in bed.

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Revelation

I just realized something regarding NaNoWriMo. I already said that I’m not expecting to meet the 50k word count. It’s not how I write and I don’t believe it would help my noveling process better than what I’m currently doing (not that what I’m currently doing is super efficient or anything, but drumming out more words than I have brain juice for is not the cure). So I’m going to do the best I can, but I expect my realistic word count to be around 20k or so. 25k if I push it.

And then I realized: my novel doesn’t have 50k words left. It only has about 20-25k left. 30k tops (that is me way overestimating how much stuff I still need to add). Of course I’m writing it now, and it’s only the beginning of October, and I still have the whole of November to push for the ‘real’ word count.

So what does this mean? It means, by the end of NaNoWrimo this year, if I keep myself diligent and nothing catastrophic happens (like the scratched cornea) that’d prevent me from writing, I will be finished with this novel. Finally. After all this time.

Of course now I’ve said it’ll never get done. But, well, let’s just go and see.

Scratched Cornea and Other Hazards

I’ve been away this week because I friggin’ scratched my cornea on Monday. Yep, was taking a shower and jabbed myself in the eye by accident and that was it. Couldn’t blink without being in some serious pain, so husband took me to the closest emergency room and pretty much spent all night waiting. I swear they literally had one doctor on duty, and it wasn’t until 5 in the morning did we finally got everything taken care of. Eyepatch in place, antibiotic cream applied, we were both exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep, even though closing the eye itself hurt.

Pretty much spent the entire next day in bed sleeping. The prescription grade ibuprofen helped a lot, too. It makes me amazed that people could take so much painkillers that this would have done nothing when it pretty much dulled the entire pain enough for me to sleep the whole day. When I was in the emergency room there was a druggie in the bed next to me. He was begging for painkillers and the nurse gave him drips of morphine and he was still begging, said he’d been on fentanyl for a long time. I was like wow dude, isn’t that the stuff that’s killing heroin users because it’s so potent? How’re you still alive? I hope he’s okay.

Anyway, so I pretty much couldn’t see for a while. Couldn’t read, couldn’t blink without tearing up, all that stupid jazz. Basically sat on my bed and listened to podcasts or slept. And sometime on Wednesday afternoon, after I slept way more than a person should in a 48 hour period, I realized something:

I haven’t been this relaxed in a long, long time.

That is significant, because I’m habitually super anxious, and there like literally two things that make me feel relaxed and both are very pricey to do. My brain’s always working and worrying about something (mostly my writings these recent years). But sitting on that bed, physically unable to do any work, I feel like a huge pressure had been lifted. (No, it wasn’t the drugs talking either. It’s just ibuprofen for one, and I took the same dose for a few more days and I didn’t feel it after I could see and read again.) Like, you literally couldn’t possibly write anything for a while, so your brain finally goes ‘fine, I give up, stop thinking about how much of a failure you are because your body failed you first’. And so, I was very, very content, for a day.

I told my husband afterwards and he was like, maybe I should just lock your computer with a different password for one day. That way you’re physically prevented from working and you can relax, because you can’t just go 7 days a week all the time. I thought that was a sound idea, so we’re going to try that next week (I’ve already relaxed all week this week). I’ll let you know how it goes.

Continuing Health Update

I’m a bit anxious today, because apparently the lab the does ultrasound work on weekends (?!) and they already got my result in by Sunday. My doctor called me yesterday and I missed it (I mean, I really didn’t expect a result that quickly), so I called back today and of course he’s busy with patients now and can’t talk to me. I’m sitting here waiting to hear what’s wrong with me so it’s making me a little antsy. I should be working right now and it’s not happening, but I need to cope, you know?

I suspect it’s just my fibroid getting bigger suddenly, which it’s known to happen. I would like to get it removed if that’s the case, but man, is it hard to get a timely appointment with my ob/gyn. The next appointment is literally a month from now. I’m not expecting the situation to change much (hopefully not, and until my doctor calls back I’m only guessing it’s the fibroid, not confirming), but more waiting is not good for my mental health haha. I did learn that I can actually message my doctor through their online system so I’m all like, hey, that sounds like a great idea! I’ll see if this nets me a closer appointment date, or at least ask him for referral for a surgeon or something.

In the meantime life needs to go on, but I’m just sitting here waiting for the phone to ring.

NaNoWriMo Prep

I am prepping for NaNoWriMo this month.

I’ve decided this year for NaNo I’m going to work on two things at once. I need to continue to write my first novel, because god damn that thing needs to be done by now. Of course I’ll be writing it throughout October too, and maybe into December? Anyway, that is a given. In the meantime, I will also write a brand new second novel. The second one will be more fun and casual than my first, because I can’t work on two depressing and serious works at once. I will also care less about how “perfect” the second novel will be, which, to be honest, probably means that I will actually finish that one much faster than my first one. I’m usually my own worst enemy.

So for October I will be doing my usual twist on the Snowflake Method to prep for the new novel. I am quite excited, yes – nothing like a new idea to get a writer’s blood pumping. My first novel will be like my day job while this second novel is the “real” NaNo project, like many NaNo participants who have real job to pay bills while working on NaNo on the side. Am I expecting to “win” NaNo and write 50k words in one month? Nope. I think my monthly word count tops off at 20k; 25k if I push. It doesn’t matter, really. The point of the whole exercise for me is a structured way of working, which I’m still not great at doing despite a few years of practice already. I think once I get that conquered I’ll feel much more validated as a writer, even if I haven’t published anything as of yet.

TGIF

Went to get my ultrasound done. Turns out they’ll have to send it to radiology and then in 2-3 business days I can call my doctor for a result. Great. More waiting. I was also required to consume 32oz of water an hour before the test. Thought my bladder was going to burst. Am okay now.

On a happier note, I finally was able to pre-order a Nintendo Switch. Been wanting once since it came out like six months ago. Couldn’t find a lick of it anywhere in So Cal, let along L.A. Now they’ve come out with the Mario bundle so I just jumped at the chance. The red controllers are much prettier than the standard two colors. Plus I can finally go play Breath of the Wild ffs! That’s the only game I want anyway. Crazy how hard it was to get that demand met.

And now I’m going to grill some squid for dinner. Ciao!

Real Life Is Like On TV

OMG guys! Apparently one of my neighbors just crashed their car into another neighbor’s house! No bullshit; it’s like that episode of House. Car’s in their foyer, wall’s gone, cabinet falling on top of the car body; it’s crazypills!!

Yeah so I was just getting up and my husband’s getting ready for work and we hear this screech and then a crash. We’re pretty close to a main road so we thought someone on the street just crashed into a parked car or something and didn’t really pay attention. Lo and behold my husband left for work and sent me this photo of a car embedded in the house across from our cul-de-sac. I was like holy shit! and went outside after the cops and the fire department showed up. Turned out it was an old lady and a medical condition caused her to slam on the accelerator instead of the breaks, and voila, car in house.

I didn’t bring my phone out so didn’t take any pictures. Even if I did I probably wouldn’t have. I feel kind of weird just snapping away into someone’s misfortune. (It’s one thing if you shoot from the car but just standing on the street looking at their destroyed living room, I don’t know. If I were a reporter sure, but I’m not, and I felt awkward.) I think no one was injured. I mean it was in a subdivision and old lady, even floored, was probably only going like 20 m/h. Super lucky no one was walking (there were always people walking their dog, taking a stroll, etc.) and there were no other cars. I thought that had my husband left for work a few minutes earlier he‘d be around her, and that was a scary thought. But all in all people are physically okay, I think.

The house though. It’s a townhouse so the structure of all the house on that strip has taken a hit. Shudders. I feel lucky that my house is surrounded by trees and if someone would crash into our strip they’d fall into a ditch or hit the parking lot first, which brings small comfort. I feel so bad for all the people involved! I do wonder if we’ll be on the news later. Not national news, of course, but the city my house belonged to is relatively small so maybe it’ll make local. Yeesh.